Hmmm, I will give you a sporting chance, and let you pick one of these three subjects, with which to assault my logic.  (or take a stab at the real subject).

Subject- MASTURBATION

Masturbation is like the card game "bridge", you don't need a partner when you have a good hand.
When I was young, my mother caught me masturbating and told me I would go blind if I kept doing it, so I promised her I would stop when I needed glasses.
A hungry, homeless man was masturbating in public and was being admonished by onlookers for "having no shame", to which the hungry, homeless man replied-"Alas, if only my empty belly could be so easily sated."


Subject-WAR

War can be described as 99% absolute boredom and 1% of sheer terror.
War brings out the best, and the worst, in men.
Just kill em all and let God sort em out.


Subject-GUNS

It is better to have a gun and not need it, than to need a gun and not have it.
I challenge anyone who has never fired a gun, to take a firearm to a shooting range, fire off a few rounds, and not have a smile on their face.
Firearms, more useful than a camera.  (See attached graphic)






A little bit a humor goes a long way.
In fact, I would wager that a man with no sense of humor will not live as long as a man who does, or at any rate, will not be much fun to be around if he gets old.
Some things in the world are so messed up that, sometimes, the only way to make sense of it, is to make fun of it.


I await your subject(s) good sir, and may the most anal prevail.







 

This reminds me of a certain fourumer's roommate who was also a rampant plagiarist.

On that subject, here's topic 1:

PLAGIARISM
I feel plagiarism is next to murder on the scale of crimes.  It is nothing more than a rape of one's intellect, and should be punished as severely as a rape.  Of course there are unintentional or careless plagiarisms, much along the lines of sexual innuendo or light harassment, to be treated according to severity; but the blatant and purposeful taking of one's words are much as the the taking of their sexual freedom.

and for the second,

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT
An eye for an eye, a paw for a paw.  Simple as that.  The Muslims got at least that much right.  May the plagiarist lose his writing hand as the rapist would lose his ----.

Thirdly:

DOGFIGHTING
The best sport in the world IMO.  It's okay to gas a criminal, and okay to charge $50 on PPV to watch humans fight each other, but throw two animals that eat their own shoot in a ring and it's inhumane?  Stop the madness, FFS.  Mike Vick is an American hero, not an oppressor.  Those nekkid PETA bitcaes are the villains, and as such should be spanked.

Wow, it is not really so much the plagiarist fault, why should they be punished above and beyond what they are already suffering from?
Three quarters of the Euro-peein' population died of the Plage during the dark ages, and just very recently a prominent biologist actually died from the Plage.  It seems he accidentally infected himself with a strain that he thought had been rendered safe.  Would it be prudent to drag his name through the mud even though he is dead?  What sense does that make?  I stand in solidarity (figuratively, I wouldn't be caught dead standing anywhere near a Plage victim) in that they should not be further persecuted, but should be made as comfortable, in isolation, until their eventual horrible demise.  Seems humane enough, no need to kick em when they are already down after all.




Now, lets be honest with each other, at least.  Most rape victims had it coming and the rest really enjoyed it but are pissed because the "assailant" didn't call them back.  Also, there is sure as hell no way no how men can be "victims" of rape.  If a male is raped, well, then he is in prison and is getting what he deserves, or he is just a pussy.  Either way, no need running to their defense, wasting resources that could otherwise be used in spying on political dissidents, like Ron Paul and the likes.  




Yeah, Mike Vick is an American hero,  , right up there wil the likes of Audie Murphy or Sgt York or Martian Luther King.  Give me a break.  Micheal Vick is a stupid idiot.  To elevate that fool to the status of "American Hero" is something a fool like the President of the United States would say.

Now, I don't really give a shit about dogs, one way or another.  After all, they are much further down the food chain than people.  Forget the dog fights, put a couple of guys in a pit, wearing spiked dog collars, augmented dental work so that they have fangs, and some surgically implanted claws.  Let em fight it out to the death and you will soon see just how lame dog fighting is.  Oh, wait, they have stuff like this already in certain San Fransisco homosexual bars.  Scratch that idea.  
Maybe it would be better to toss you into a pit with about 6 or 7 very angry, very hungry and very aggressively trained Pit Bull attack dogs.  After that, go ahead and preach about the merits of dog fighting.  After that, you would have earned the experience to endorse dog fighting.  That is, if you still have your balls, intestines and your throat isn't ripped out first.  


EDIT:  LMAO- "gay" is censored with "sparkly rainbow covered something or other".  LMAO  Lucky for me I know how to bypass the censors.    I can type gay and let it be edited or type gay and not get edited. 

I shall have to stand with you on this issue.  After all, the very existence of the Plage is justified in one singular event;  The making of this scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFXGwHsD_A" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGFXGwHsD_A</a>


Maybe so in the biped world you live in, but for us four-footed "friends of man", it's not that simple.  Have you ever had someone you trust surprise you with a can of tuna in a little plastic box, only to see the door close behind you, get bounced around for a half hour, and open up to a white room where some guy you don't even know drugs you and cuts up your reproductive system without so much as a scratch behind the ears?  And you morons wonder why we'd just as soon claw your eyes out as be all cuddly and cute.


Wow.  Just wow.  Why do you know that?



This is precisely why these fights are necessary;  these abominations of evolution should not be exposed to the rest of the animal kingdom.  Vick should be carried though the streets by a cheering crowd for eliminating so many of these scourges.






I'm going to call this a dead issue.  I completely agree on all counts.  It's certainly safer than going to certain bars previously mentioned to get your jollies.  And I'm all for population control when it comes to humans and dogs.




You're wrong about one thing;   I am pro-war.  War is as necessary as oxygen.  It controls the population.  It's a necessity of evolution, forcing inferior cultures into the fold of their superiors, and advancing technology.  No single factor  has advanced civilization even a tenth as much as war.  As the old saying goes, "If you want to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs".

Hiroshima and Nagasaki were two eggs, and look at the omelet they made; the end of WWII was just the start.  All our nuclear technology to this day came from those eggs.


This all ties right in.  The firearm is just another staple in the progress of mankind.  It's the child of the crossbow, who replaced the longbow, and so on.  Just another improvement on the waging of war, and as such an improvement to society.  The better our weapons, the more we will evolve.

So it seems we really only have dogfighting and Mike Vick to debate so far.  Can't say I'm surprised; you're clearly one of the truly intelligent members of your species.

I would like to concentrate on this for a moment.  If you feel Vick should be carried through the streets to the adulation of crowds, for his animal cruelty, then you must allow certain others to have the same distinction.

Like,

Jeffrey Dahmer.  Good ole Jeffrey, of whom I think no need for mention as to who exactly he is, as a boy would like to find dead animals, especially dogs, and dissect them.  Jeffrey even put a dog's head on a stake.

David Berkowitz, AKA, Son of Sam.  David liked to sacrifice animals (including cats as well as dogs) to his witchcraft hobby.

Or the little known Briley Brothers, who quite enjoyed torturing animals.  Their father was so bothered by their behavior that he actually had a padlock on his bedroom door, which he would lock at night when he slept, to keep his sons from murdering him in his sleep.

Richard Chase, practiced animal cruelty before he started murdering people.  Probably because he couldn't get a boner...

See, history is replete with example after example of people who can easily kill an animal for any reason other than sustenance, can easily kill human beings in murderous cold blood.  I suppose after torturing and killing all those animals, when viewing other human beings these psychos imagine their victims to be mere animals.

I would note, for your consideration, that even though all we know of Vick in regards to his animal cruelty is that he killed all those dogs, with his own hands.  I would ask, if he is so able to easily kill dogs, why would he have a problem with killing cats?

Believe me, if Canada Cat ever fell into the hands of Vick, and Vick was determined to get rid of Canada Cat, he would likely not just take you down to the pound or attempt to find a home, but, rather, drown you in a pool and toss your cold body into a fire.

But, by all means, put him up on your shoulders, applaud him, but understand, that had he not been rich and had such support and potential in society, he would have likely turned out to be a cold blooded serial killer.  He holds many of the same traits as many other crazy fuckers we all know and revile. 

Another topic for discussion/analysis/shredding to bits like the bottom 16 inches of sixandfour's couch:

FOURUM MONKEY ACCOUNTS:

How about the 20-odd accounts that popped up right about the time paint and JB got a ton of votes in the last popularity poll?  And then there was MASS, that ridiculous reality show crap the master ran last year for like 4 months.  Paint's like the Lost Ostrich (FTF reference, for the rest of you who don't know) of this fourum. Then there were the friggin Whammys...  I feel it's completely retarded to start a whole damn account to pull shit on the sly and basically pat yourself on the back all the time.  What a bunch of douchenoozles.

Dogfighting and Micheal Vick.  Ok.  Oh, there is also this-


 
Hasty Generalization- leaping to a conclusion.

For Micheal Vick, let's look back-


Appeal to ridicule-Your view on Micheal Vick is an emotional appeal and to view Vick as a hero or somehow noble for killing animals is ridiculous.
Also, your use of "oppressor" is an equivocation

For Dogfighting-


False Attribution- Really?  Dogfighting is the best sport in the world?  You think that is factual?

And there is the issue with your whole point of view in regards to Vick and Dogfighting.  You are biased.  
psychologists fallacy- your objectivity is in question, especially with such statements that follow-




Anyway, I love how you edited out the tether cat pic but left the graphic kitty porn.  That made me LOL.

Oh, I see you are bashing on PETA.  I have to join in on that, cause PETA is whacked out.  These bitcaes are crying about people eating animals.  I bet if I ate those hot chicks they would love it, and cream all over my face.  I got some meat they can eat, and I promise no animal was harmed to bring that meat to them.

And that dumb chic in the first pic, hiding her boobs for God's sake.  Like she has some shame or something.  She is topless in an animal cage, I think she left shame at the door.  Show us your tits!!


Cats are schizophrenic, true story.  The above gives evidence to that.  I seem to recall that the "rules" of their particular match, well, there are no rules.  Seems like they are doing the exact right thing.  Oh, and that above quote is what is called-

Red herring-This occurs when a speaker attempts to distract an audience by deviating from the topic at hand by introducing a separate argument   and quite a bit ironic ta boot....

Well I'll be, when I first posted it, it worked and I could see it, but now I can't see it.  I sincerely apologize for assuming it had been edited out.

Weird.

Our brains set us apart.  Sure, the lions and the tigers and the other large cats got the claws, the teeth, the speed and strength, but our brains are what matter.  With all your weapons, one intelligent human being with the will to survive can use anything in his immediate environment to defend himself and drive off if not kill the large cat.  Of course, we have the occasional fool in close proximity to a large cat, that only has a camera on him, instead of a gun.  When he gets eaten it serves both species.  Feeds the one, and smartens the other. 

For educational purposes, take a look at this highly accurate graphic of the food chain-




Social symbiote, about the only reason you aren't a social parasite is because you can catch and eat vermin.  Congratulations, you found your evolutionary niche, living off a greater being.

 
That is when I like to play a little game I call, "Kick the Cat".  You'll be hiding under the couch for hours....

I have had more head blows than i can remember <uncontrolled neck twitch>, seriously.  I personally have suffered at least six concussions.  mostly from playing football but also from accidents and general stupidity.  But hey, that is how I roll.  I am proud of all my scars.  Just, that, well, every once in a while I kind of lose my train of tohuhgt.  Ins't taht trerbile, msot otfen I can sltil be udnesrotod.

 
Red herring!  Oh, wait...




Because physically we are just about perfect.  I mean what else has evolved the opposable thumb?  Without that we would be no better than apes.  Oh, well, I suppose, technically we kind of are apes.  

Your question, that is, your assumption that we have evolved so little physically is an "existential fallacy".  How long have we been evolving?  How long does it take to evolve?  How much is "so little"?



I don't think so, because as far as "advancements", in the last 1% of human history we have had 99% of all technological advancement.  
The assumption that our advancements are hindering our physical evolution is-
Ludic Fallacy- There are too many unknowns to make such a determination.



We love our "freaks"!  One of my favorite freaks is the Circus Geek.  Do you know what a circus geek is, Mr Feline?  It is a guy that bites off the heads of small animals, like bats.  And Cats.
And monsters, whoa boy! do we like monsters!  We are fascinated by them and continue to dream up new monsters and recycle old monsters into modern times.  

Every living being has to find it's niche in life.  You found yours after all, living off superior organisms.  Same goes for the freaks and geeks and monsters of the world.  In some societies, certain types of People, and even animals, are not welcome.  It goes that everything must find it's place, or not.  Doesn't make much difference to the universe one way or another.  

I myself am insecure about my penis size.  It is way too big, freakishly so.  I am very self aware of it, not to mention how absurdly hard it is

to find a pair of decent fitting jeans.  Do I let that stop me?  On the contrary, I expose myself

to new situations where my freakish problem is actually a good thing so that I can benefit for it.  

Just an example.  




I would put forth this subject in more detail.

Humor.

What cannot be made fun of?
To me, nothing is off limits.  There is no taboo when it comes to making light of something.  Even if it is horrible.  
I find people who get offended at certain jokes, gags, plays on words, levity, sexual harassment, copping a feel for a laugh, masturbation, flashing, streaking, polish jokes, off color jokes, holocaust jokes, 9/11 jokes,  basically anything under the sun, those who get offended are offensive human beings.  I mean the greatest joke ever told happens to actually be the most offensive joke ever told.  That very offensiveness is what makes "The Aristocrats" so funny!  

I think also, that humor can be used to illustrate logic and morals and ethics far better than some teacher smacking your hand every time to look away from the chalkboard to scratch your balls (or, in your case, lick your balls).  I think, people (and cats) should laugh more.  Cats are just far too reserved for my tastes.  Maybe you are different, maybe you have an actual personality that most of the felines I have meet lack.

You seem to be quick humorous and certainly witty.  For that, I applaud you.  No, I go further, and respectfully drop my drawers and give you a good and proper mooning.  

Cheers!


EDIT-Ironically, well, humorously, I seem to remember I got so many blows to the head playing football because I played without a helmet.  Hmm, maybe the retards are onto something.....

The satire (reference Fletch in the Great Riggat Thread) in this is not lost on me.  Well played, sir.

Again there's little to debate.  You are certainly right on in your assessment, and I mirror your thoughts in the first paragraph.  In the second I can argue semantics if nothing else.  While the old nun whacking you with a ruler may not be much of an education, I think capital punishment when used at an effective level can be the best teacher.  A paddle on a 5th grader usually isn't going to get the job done, but a sound beating will learn most people about anything you need them to know, as you yourself have alluded.  This kinda goes back to the earlier discussion on capital punishment.  I think we in essence agree on that, but perhaps we can debate whether it or humor makes the best teacher.  I'll concede it as a close call at any rate, as I see much merit in the use of humor as an educator.